(The music of "Dom Juan" of Mozart)
(Introduction of Requiem: solemn music)
Whatever Aristotle, and Philosophy itself, may say,
there's nothing like tobacco: it's the passion of all gentlemen,
and he who lives without tobacco is unworthy to live.
Not only does it delight and clear the human brain,
but also it trains the soul for virtue
and with it one learns how to become a gentleman.
Don't you always see, as soon as a man takes it, how obliging his manner becomes
with everyone, and how delighted he is to offer
it right and left, wherever he may be?
He doesn't even wait to be asked,
but anticipates people's wishes;
so true it is that tobacco inspires sentiments of honour
and virtue in all those who take it.
But enough of that; let's get back to what we were talking about.
So then, my, dear Gusman, your mistress, Donna Elvire,
surprised at our leaving, is in full career after us;
and her heart, which my master succeeded in touching all too deeply,
could not live, you say, without coming to seek him here.
Shall I tell you what I think, between you and me?
I'm afraid that she's unrepaid for her love,
that her journey to this city will bear little fruit,
and that you would have gained just as much by not stirring from home.
And what's your reason? Tell me, please, Sganarelle,
what it is that can inspire in you such an ominous fear.
Has your master opened his heart to you about it,
and has he told you that he felt some coldness
toward us that obliged him to leave? - No, no; but from one look around,
I know pretty well how things are going;
without his having said anything yet, I would almost bet that's where this affair is heading.
I might possibly be wrong; but after all, on such matters,
experience has given me some light.
- What?
Could this unexpected departure be
an infidelity of Dom Juan's?
Could he wrong the chaste love of Donna Elvire in this way?
- No, it's just that he's still young,
and hasn't the courage to...
- Could a man of his quality do such a cowardly deed?
- Oh, yes, his quality!
That's a fine reason, and that's what would put a stop to things!
- But he is bound by the holy ties of marriage.
- Oh! Poor old Gusman, my friend...
you don't know yet, believe me, what sort of a man Dom Juan is.
- Indeed I don't know what sort of a man he can be
he has really treated us with such perfidy;
and I do riot under stand how, after showing so much love
and so much impatience, so much urgent homage,
so many vows, sighs, and tears,
so many passionate letters, ardent protestations,
and repeated oaths, in short so many transports
and outbursts as he displayed,
until in his passion he even forced the sacred obstacle of a convent
to place Donna Elvire within his power
I do not understand, I say, how, after all that,
he could have the heart to go back on his word.
- I don't have much trouble understanding it;
and if you knew his character,
you'd find the matter pretty easy for him.
I don't say that he has changed his feelings about Donna Elvire,
I have no certainty about that yet:
you know that by his orders I left before him,
and he hasn't talked with me since he arrived.
But let me inform you
by way of precaution,
that in my master Dom Juan
you see the greatest villain that the earth ever bore,
a dog, a devil, a Turk, a heretic,
who doesn't believe in Heaven, Hell, or werewolf,
who spends his life like a real brute beast, one of Epicurus' swine,
a regular Sardanapalus, who closes his ears to every remonstrance you can make,
and treats everything we believe in
as nonsense.
You tell me he married your mistress;
believe me, he would have done more than that for his passion,
and besides her he would have married you,
his dog, and his cat as well.
A marriage costs him nothing to contract;
he uses no other snares to catch beauties,
and he's a marrier for all comers.
Grown lady, young lady, bourgeoise, peasant girl,
he finds nothing too hot or too cold for him;
and if I told you the names of all the women he has married in various places,
it would be a chapter to last us until evening.
You are surprised, and you change colour at what I say;
that's only a mere sketch of the personage,
and to complete his portrait would require far broader brush strokes.
Enough to say that the wrath of Heaven must crush him some day;
that I'd be much better off belonging to the Devil than to him;
and that he makes me witness so many horrors that I wish he was already
...I don't know where.
But a great lord who is a wicked man is a terrible thing.
I have to be faithful to him in spite of myself;
fear fulfills the function of zeal in me, curbs my feelings,
and very often reduces me to applauding what my soul detests.
Here he comes now to take a walk in this palace. Let's part.
But listen:
I've confided this to you in frankness,
and it came out of my mouth pretty fast;
but if any of it had to come to his ears,
I would declare boldly that you had lied.
- Who was that man talking with you?
It seems to me he looks a lot like Donna Elvire's good old Gusman.
- Indeed, it's something about like that
- What?
Is that who it was?
- Himself.
- And how long has he been in this town?
- Since yesterday evening.
- And what brings him here?
- I think you have a pretty good idea of what may be worrying him.
- Our departure, no doubt?
- The poor man is quite mortified about it, and was asking me the reason.
- And what answer did you give him?
- That you had said nothing to me about it.
- What else?
But still, what do you think about it?
What do you imagine this is all about?
- I? I think, no offence to you,
that you have some new love in mind.
- You think so?
- Yes.
- My word! You're not a bit mistaken,...
...and I must admit to you that another object has driven Elvire out of my mind.
- Oh! My Lord! I have my Dom Juan at my finger tips,
and I know that your heart is the greatest lady-chaser in the world.
It loves to ramble from bond to bond,
and doesn't much like to stay put.
- And tell me, don't you think I'm right to act this way?
- Oh! Monsieur. - What?
Speak up!
- Certainly you're right, if that's the way you want it;
there's no going against that.
But if you didn't want it that way, perhaps it would be another matter.
- Well! I give you leave to speak out and tell me what you feel about it
- In that case, Monsieur,
I'll tell you frankly
...that I don't approve
of your way at all, and I think
it's very bad to make love right and left the way you do.
- What?
Do you want us to bind ourselves for good to the first object that captivates us,
give up the world for her,
and have no more eyes for anyone else?
That's a fine thing, to want to pride ourselves on some false honour of fidelity,
to bury ourselves forever in one passion,
and to be dead from our youth on to all the other beauties
that may strike our eyes!
No, no: constancy is good only for nincompoops.
Every beautiful woman has the right to charm us,
and the advantage of having been the first one we met
must not rob the others of the just claims
they all have on our hearts.
As for me, beauty entrances me wherever I find it
and I easily yield to the sweet violence
with which it sweeps us along.
I may be bound; hut the love I have for one beautiful woman
does not bind my soul to do injustice to the others;
I still have eyes to see the merit of them all,
and I pay to each one the homage and tribute
that nature requires of us.
Whatever my situation, I cannot refuse my heart
to anyone I see to be loveable; and as soon as a fair face asks me for it
if I had ten thousand hearts I'd give them all.
After all, budding inclinations have unaccountable charms,
and the whole pleasure of love lies in change.
We savour an infinite sweetness in overcoming a young beauty's heart
by a thousand acts of homage,
Éin seeing day by day the little steps by which we progress,
...in combating by our transports,
tears, and sighs,
Éthe innocent modesty of a soul loath to surrender its arms,
...in forcing, step by step, the little obstacles
with which she resists,
...in conquering the scruples in which she takes honour
...and bringing her gently to the point where we want to bring her.
But once we are the master,
there's nothing more to say and nothing more to wish for;
all the beauty of the passion is finished,
...and in the tranquillity of such a love
we fall asleep,
...unless some new object comes to awaken our desires
and offer our heart the alluring charms
of a conquest to be made. In short there's nothing so sweet
as to triumph over the resistance of a beauty;
and in this matter I have the ambition of the conquerors
who perpetually fly from victory to victory
and cannot bring themselves to limit their aspirations.
There is nothing that can arrest the impetuosity of my desires:
I feel a heart in me fit to love the whole world;
and like Alexander, I could wish there were other worlds,
so that I might extend my amorous conquests there.
- Mercy me, how you rattle it off!
It seems as though you've learned it by heart
and you talk just like a book. - What do you have to say about it?
- My word! I have to say ... I don't know what to say...
for you turn things in such a manner that you seem
to be right; and yet the truth is that you're not.
I had the best ideas in the world, and your talk has muddled the whole thing up.
Another time I'll put my reasonings in writing, to argue with you.
- Well you may.
- But, Monsieur,
would it be within the permission you have given me
if I told you that I am
...just a bit scandalised at the life you lead?
- How's that? What kind of life do I lead?
- A very good one. But...
for example, to see you getting married every month the way you do...
- Is there anything pleasanter?
- That's true, I suppose it is very pleasant
and very diverting, and I'd like it well enough myself,
if there weren't any harm in it;
but Monsieur, to make sport of a holy sacrament...
- Come, come, that's a matter between Heaven and me,
and we'll settle it together well enough without your worrying about it.
- My word, Monsieur! I've always heard that to mock
Heaven is wicked mockery, and that libertines never come to a good end.
- Hold it! Master fool, you know I've told you that
I don't like expostulators.
- I know, and I'm not speaking to you, God forbid
Now you know what you're doing; and if you don't believe in anything,
you have your reasons.
But there are some impertinent little people in the world
who are libertines without knowing why,
who set up as freethinkers because they think it's becoming to them;
and if I had a master like that, I would look him in the face and say to him
very plainly: "Do you really dare to set yourself up against Heaven
in this way, and doesn't it make you tremble to make fun
of the holiest things as you do? Is it really for you, little earthworm,
little ant - I'm speaking to the master I mentioned -
is it really for you to want to make a joke of
what everyone reveres? Do you think that because you are a gentleman
and wear a well-curled blond wig, feathers in your hat
a coat well trimmed with gold lace, and flame-coloured ribbons
- I'm not talking to you, but to the other one - do you think, I say,
that you're an abler man for all that that you're free to do anything you like,
and that no one will dare to tell you the truth about yourself? Take it from me,
though I'm your servant, that sooner or later Heaven punishes the impious,
that an evil life brings on an evil death,
and that ..."
- Enough!
- You have some business?
- My business is to tell you that I have my heart set on a certain beauty,
and that led on by her charms, I, have followed her all the way to this town.
- And have you nothing to fear, Monsieur,
here, from the death of that Commander you killed six months ago?
- And why fear? Didn't I kill him properly?
- Very properly, very well indeed, and he has no grounds for complaint
- I got my pardon for that affair.
- Yes, but maybe that pardon doesn't extinguish the resentment of relatives and friends...
- Oh! Let's not go thinking about the harm that may happen to us,
and let's think about only what can give us pleasure.
The person I'm telling you about is a young engaged girl
lovely as can be,
who was brought, here by the very man she is coming to marry;
and it was by chance that I saw this couple of sweethearts
three or four days before their trip.
Never have I seen two people so happy with each other
and displaying more love.
The visible tenderness of their mutual passion
stirred me;
I was struck to the heart
by it and my love began in jealousy.
Yes, from the first I couldn't bear seeing them so happy together;
vexation alerted my desires, and I imagined an extreme pleasure
in being able to disturb their understanding
and break this attachment
at which the delicacy of my heart considered it self offended
but up to now all my efforts have been useless,
and I am having recourse to the final remedy.
Today this would-be husband is to treat his mistress
to a boat ride on the sea. Without my telling you anything about it
everything is prepared for me to satisfy my love
and I have some men and a small boat with which I expect to carry
off my beauty very easily. - Monsieur...
- Huh?
- Good for you, you're behaving as you should.
There's nothing in this world like having your way.
- Then get ready to come with me, and be sure yourself
to bring along all my weapons, so...
Oh! Ill met!
Traitor, you didn't tell me that she herself was here
- Monsieur, you didn't ask me
- Is she out of her mind, not to have changed her dress,
and to come to this place in her country clothes?
- Will you do me the kindness, Dom Juan, to be willing to recognise me?
And may I at least hope that you will deign to turn your face this way?
- Madame, I confess I am surprised,
and I wasn't expecting you here
- Yes, I can see very well
that you weren't expecting me here;
and you are surprised indeed,
but quite otherwise than I hoped;
and the way you show it
fully convinces me of what I was refusing to believe
I marvel at my simplicity and weak heartedness
in doubting a betrayal which so much evidence confirmed.
I was fond enough, I confess,
or rather stupid enough, to try to deceive myself,
and to struggle to give the lie to my eyes and judgment.
I sought reasons to excuse to my heart the weakened affection
it observed in you;
and I deliberately made up to myself a hundred legitimate reasons
for such a precipitate departure
to justify you for a crime of which my reason accused you.
My just suspicions spoke to me each day in vain;
I rejected their voice which would have made you criminal in my eyes,
and listened with pleasure to a thousand ridiculous fancies
which represented you to my heart as innocent.
But now ...
at last this reception leaves me no room for doubt,
and your look when you first saw me tells me
far more things than I could wish to know.
However, I should like very much to hear from your own lips
the reasons why you left
Speak, Dom Juan, I pray you,
and let's see with what countenance you will justify yourself!
- Madame...
here is Sganarelle
who knows why I left.
- Me, Monsieur? I don't know anything about it.
- Well, Sganarelle speak!
It doesn't matter from whose lips I hear these reasons.
- Come on, then, speak to Madame. - What do you want me to say?
- Come here,
since it Is so willed, and tell me something about the reasons
for such a sudden departure - Aren't you going to answer?
- I have nothing to answer. You're making sport of your servant.
- Will you answer, I tell you?
- Madame... - What?
- Monsieur... - If...
- Madame...
Conquerors, Alexander, and other worlds.
are the reasons for our departure. There Monsieur, that's all I can say.
- Will you be kind enough, Dom Juan, to enlighten us about these fine mysteries?
- Madame...
to tell you the truth...
- Oh! How poorly you know how to defend yourself for a courtier,
who must be accustomed to this sort of thing!
I pity you, to see the confusion you're in.
Why don't you arm your brow with noble effrontery?
Why don't you swear to me
that you still have the same feelings for me
that you still love me with unequaled ardor,
and that nothing can tear you away from me,
but death?
Why don't you tell me that business of the utmost importance
to remain here for some time,
and that I have only to go back to where I came from,
assured that you will follow in my footsteps as soon as you possibly can;
that it is certain that you burn to be with me again,
and that apart from me you suffer
what a body-suffers separated from its soul?
That's how you should defend yourself,
and not just be speechless, as you are.
- I admit Madame that I do not have the talent to dissimulate,
and that I have a sincere heart I will not tell you that
I still have the same feelings for you and that
I burn to be with you again...
since after all it is established that I left only to flee you;
not for the reasons that you may imagine
but from a purely conscientious motive
and because I did not believe that I could live
with you any longer without sin.
Scruples came to me, Madame
and I opened the eyes of my soul upon what I was doing.
I reflected that in order to marry you
I stole you from the enclosure of a convent
...that you broke vows that bound you elsewhere
and that Heaven is very jealous
of this kind of thing.
Repentance seized me, and I dreaded the divine wrath;
I came to believe that our marriage
was nothing but a disguised adultery,
that it would bring upon us some retribution from on high,
and that in short I should strive to forget you
and give you a way to go back to your first bonds.
Madame, would you oppose so pious a thought,
and would you have me go bringing Heaven down upon me, by...
- Villain
now I know you through and through;
and to my misfortune, I know you when it is too late,
and when such knowledge
can no longer help me except to drive me to despair.
But know that your crime shall not remain unpunished,
and that the same Heaven you mock will be able to avenge me for your perfidy!
- Sganarelle, Heaven!
- Yes indeed, a lot we care about that we do!
- Madame... - That's enough.
I don't want to hear any more,
and I even blame myself for having heard too much.
It is despicable to have one's shame explained too clearly;
and on such subjects a noble heart should
choose its course at once.
don't expect me to break out here in reproaches and insults; no, no,
my wrath is not one to spend itself in empty words,
and its full heat is reserved for its vengeance.
I tell you once more. Heaven will punish you, traitor,
for the wrong you are doing me;
and if Heaven has nothing you can fear,
fear at least the anger of an outraged woman.
("Requiem Donna eis aeternam" Give us eternal rest!)
(Soft music and solemn)
- If only remorse could seize him!
- All right, let's think about carrying out our amorous enterprise.
- Oh! What an abominable master I am forced to serve!
- That was a bit of luck then, Pierrot, wasn't it?
- A right close shave, if you ask me. Another minute
and they'd both have drowned.
- Was it that gale this morning made them capsize?
- I'll tell you the whole story, Charlotte,
shall I, just as it happened; because you might say
I was the first to see them, I mean, what I mean is, I saw them first.
I was down by the sea with fat Lucas,
having a bit of a laugh, fooling about with these lumps of earth,
because, you know, he's fond of a laugh, is old Lucas,
and I like a laugh now and then as well.
Anyway, there we were, having a laugh, laughing,
well, I spotted somethin' way out there kinda wrigglin' around in the water,
an' now an' then it seemed like it was comin' toward us. an' then, sudden like,
I could see that I couldn't see nothin' no more
"Hey, Lucas!" I says to him, "reckon that's some men swimmin' out there."
"Honest" he says to me, "you must a' seen a cat die,
you're seein' things."
"I ain't seein' things, says I;
them's men."
"Not on your life," he says to me,
"you ain't seein' straight."
"Wanna bet," says I, "that I am seein' straight," says I
"an' that that there's two men," says I, "an' swimmin' right this way?"
"By gum," he says to me "I bet it ain't."
"Oh, so!" says I, "wanna bet ten sous on it?"
"All right with me" he says to me; "and just to show you,
there's my money down," he says to me.
Me, I weren't ho fool nor no half-wit;
so, brave as can be, I up an plunk down five sous in large coins,
an' the rest in doubles, as bold as if I been swallowin' down a glass of wine;
'cause I'll take a chance, I will, an' I don't stop for nothin'.
I knew what I was doin', all the same. That Lucas, what a clown!
So anyway, I hadn't no sooner bet when I seen them two men plain as day,
an' they're -makin' signs to go fetch 'em;
an' me, first I picks up the stakes.
"C'mon, Lucas," I says,
"you can see how they're callin' us; quick, let's go help 'em."
"Naw," he says to me, "they made me lose"
Oh! Well then, finally, to make it short
I preached him so much
that we got ourselves in a boat
an' then we tugged 'em an' hauled "em an' all like that
an' we got 'em outa the water,
an' then
we took 'em back home next to the fire an' then
they got stripped all naked
so's to dry out,
an' then along came two more of 'em out of the same bunch,
an' they'd got out all by themselves,
an' then Mathurine came in, an' one of 'em made eyes at her.
An' that's it Charlotte, that's just how it all happened.
- Didn't you tell me Pierrot that there's one of 'em is much better lookin' than the others?
- Yes, that's the master.
He must be some big, big gentleman,
'cause he's got gold all over his coat all the way from top to bottom;
an' the people who serve him, they're gentlemen too,
but that don't matter, big gentleman or no,
he'd be drownded if I hadn't been there
- Well, will you listen to that!
- Oh! by golly, without us, he'd a' had his all right
- Is he still at your house all naked, Pierrot?
- No, not him; they got him dressed again right in front of us.
By gum...
I never had seen one of 'em being dressed!
What a lot of contraptions an' doohickeys
those courtier fellows do put on themselves!
I'd get lost in all o' that I would,
an' I had my jaw hangin' down watchin' it.
Look, Charlotte, they got hair that don't stay on their heads;
an' they slap that on after all the rest
like some big flax bonnet.
They got shirts that got sleeves
that we could get inside of, you an' me, just the way we are.
'Stead o' breeches they got
'em a great big apron as wide as from here to Easter;
'stead of a doublet
a little old waistcoat that don't even come down to their soleaplexus;
'stead o' neckbands, a great big lace neckerchief
with four big linen tassels that hangs down over their stomach
Then they got other little neckbands at the end o' their arms,
like, an' then great funnels o' lace on their legs,
an' then on top o' all that such a lot o' ribbons,
it really makes you sorry for 'em.
Why, they ain't even the shoes that ain't all loaded with 'em, right from one end to the other;
an' the way they're fixed up, I'd sure as heck break my neck.
- Gracious sakes, Pierrot I gotta go have a look at that
- Oh! Listen here to me for just a bit first Charlotte:
me, I got somethin' else to tell you.
- Well! Tell me, what is it?
- You see Charlotte, like the fella says,
I gotta uncork my heart. I love you, an' you know it
an' we're fixin' to get married together;
but my gosh, I just ain't satisfied with you,
- How do you mean? What's the matter, then?
- The matter is, well, that you vex my mind. - And how do you mean, then?
- Doggone it all, you don't love me.
- Ha, ha! An' that's all?
- Yeah, that's all, an' it's plenty, too.
- Lord's sakes, Pierrot you're always comin' tellin' me the same thing.
- I'm always tellin' you the same thing, 'cause it always is the same thing,
an' if it weren't always the same thing, I wouldn't always be tellin' you the same thing.
- But what's ailin' you? What do you want?
- Gosh darn it! I want you to love me
- Why, don't I love you?
- No, you don't love me;...
and still I do everything I can to make you:
I buy you - no offence -
ribbons from all the peddlers that come by;
I break my neck goin' an' gettin' blackbirds out of their nests for you...
I get the fiddlers to play for you when it's your birthday;...
and all that just like I was battin' my head against a wall.
Look now, it ain't neither nice nor decent
not to love the folks that love us.
- But land's sakes,
I love you too.
- Oh yes, that's a fine way you love me!
- Then how do you want a person to do?
- I want you to do the way people do when they love the way they should.
- And don't I love you the way I should?
- No: when it is that way, you can tell;
and people play a thousand little monkey tricks
on people when they love them really from the heart.
Look at fat Thomas, how daft she is about young Robin:
he's always around him and annoyin' him,
an' never lets him alone;
she's always playin' some trick on him
an' givin' him a clout when she goes by; an' the other day
when he's sittin' on a stool she goes an' yanks it out from under him
an down he goes full length on the ground.
Tarnation! That's how you can tell folk that are in love...
but you,
you never say a word to me,
you're always there like a bump on a log;
an' I could go by in front of you twenty times an' you'd never stir a stump
to give me the least little blow
or say the least little thing to me.
After all, that's
not right and you're too cold to people.
- And what do you want me to do about that?
That's my temperment and I can't change that
- Temperment or no, when a person feels friendly like toward a person,
they always do some little something to show it
- Anyway, I love you every bit I can,
and if that don't suit you, you can, just go love someone else
- See, there you are! That's what I get. If you loved me, would you say that to me?
- Then why do you go gettin' me all in a fluster?
- Jeepers! What harm am I doin' you? All I ask you for is a little bit of friendship.
- Well then! You go easy too, and don't press me so.
Maybe it'll come all of a sudden without thinkin' about it.
- Shake on it then, Charlotte.
- All right! There.
- Then promise me you'll try to love me more. - I'll do all I can,
but it'll have to come by itself.
Pierrot is that
the gentleman? - Yep, there he is.
- Oh! Mercy me, isn't he nice,
and wouldn't it have been a pity if he'd a' been drownded!
- I'll be back in a minute; I'm gonna have myself a ' pint
to set me up just a bit from gettin' so tired.
- We've missed our chance, Sganarelle
and that unexpected squall upset not only our boat
but the plans we had made; but to tell you the truth,
the peasant girl I've just left makes up for that mishap,
and I could see charms in her that wipe out of my mind
all the chagrin I felt at the ill success of our enterprise.
This heart must not escape me,
and I have already worked to dispose it so that it will not endure
my sighing long in vain. - Monsieur, I confess, you astound me
Hardly have we escaped a deadly peril,
and you, instead of giving thanks to Heaven for the pity it deigned to take on us,
you are starting to work all afresh to draw down its wrath
by your usual fancies and your loves, that are really crim...
Peace, rascal that you are. You don't know what you're saying,
and Monsieur knows what he's doing. Get along with you!
- Aha! Where has this other peasant girl come from,
Sganarelle...
Did you ever see anything prettier?
And tell me, don't you think this one is well worth the other?
- Oh, yes indeed.
Here we go again.
("Requiem Donna eis aeternam: Give us eternal rest!)
(Soft and solemn music )
- To what do I owe, my beauty, such a delightful meeting?
What? In these rustic surroundings, amid these trees and rocks,
there are persons as lovely as you to be found?
- As you see Monsieur.
- Are you from this village?
- Yes, Monsieur.
- And you live here?
- Yes, Monsieur.
- Your name is?
- Charlotte, at your service.
- Oh, what a beautiful girl, and what piercing eyes!
- Monsieur, you're making me all ashamed.
- Ah! don't be ashamed at hearing the truth about you. Sganarelle,
...what do you say? Did you ever see anything more charming?
Turn around a little, if you please.
Oh! what a pretty figure! Lift your head a little, pray.
Oh, what a cute face! Open your eyes all the way.
Oh, how beautiful they are!
Let me have just a look at your teeth, I beg you.
Oh, how loving they are! And those appetizing lips!
As for me, I'm enchanted, and I've never seen such a charming person.
- Monsieur, you're pleased to say so,
and I don't know whether you're making fun of me or not
- I, make fun of you? God forbid!
I love you too much for that and I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart
- I'm much obliged to you, if that's so. - Not at all! You're under no obligation to me
for anything I'm saying, and you owe it only to your beauty.
- Monsieur, all that is too well said for me and I have no wit
to answer you with. - Sganarelle just look at her hands.
- Fie, Monsieur! They're as black as I don't know what
- Oh, what are you saying? They're the loveliest in the world. Allow me to kiss them, pray.
- Monsieur, that's too much honour you're paying me,
and if I'd known that earlier, I wouldn't have failed
to wash them in bran.
- Tell me, beautiful Charlotte, you're not married, I trust?
- No, Monsieur, but I am to be soon, to Pierrot
the son of our neighbour Simonette
- What?
A person like you should become the wife of a mere peasant?
No, no:
that would be a profanation of so much beauty,
and you weren't born to live your life in a village.
There's no question you deserve a better lot;
and Heaven, which knows this well,
has brought me here on purpose to prevent this marriage
and do justice to your charms.
For in short, my fair Charlotte, I love you with all my heart
and if you just say the word I'll take you out of this wretched place
and set you up in the position you deserve.
No doubt this love is very sudden; but what can I do?
It's an effect of your great beauty, Charlotte;
and a man comes to love you as much in a quarter of an hour
as he might someone else in six months.
- Honest, Monsieur, I just don't know what to do when you talk like that
What you say makes me feel good,
and I'd like nothing better than to believe it;
but I've always heard tell that you must never believe what the gentlemen say
and that you court folk are cajolers
and only out to take advantage of the girls.
- I am not one of those people.
- Not much.
- You see, Monsieur, there's no pleasure in being taken advantage of.
I'm a poor peasant girl; but I care about honour,
and I'd rather see myself dead than dishonoured.
- And would I have such a wicked soul as to take advantage of a' girl like you?
I should be base enough to dishonour you?
No, no; I have too much of a conscience
for that I love you, Charlotte,
in all faith and honour;
let me tell you
that I have no other intentions
than to marry you.
Do you want greater proof?
I'm ready whenever you wish;
and I call on this man here to witness my pledge.
- No, no, have no fear: he'll marry you as much as you like.
- Ah, Charlotte! I see very well that you don't know me yet.
You do me great wrong to judge me by others;
and if there are scoundrels in the world, men who seek
only to take advantage of girls, you must count me out of their number
and not cast doubt on the sincerity of my word.
And then, your beauty makes you perfectly safe.
Anyone who looks like you
is necessarily protected against all fears of that sort.
Believe me, you don't look the part of a girl that could be taken advantage of;
and for my part I confess, I'd pierce my heart with a thousand stabs
if I had had the slightest thought of betraying you.
- My goodness! I don't know whether you're telling me the truth or not
but you make a person believe you.
- In believing me you will certainly only, do me justice,
and I repeat once more the promise I made you.
don't you accept it
and won't you consent to be my wife?
- Yes,
providing my aunt is willing.
- Shake hands on it then, Charlotte, since for your part you are willing.
- But remember, Monsieur, don't go and deceive me, I beg you;
that would be bad of you,
and you see how I'm going about this in good faith.
- What? You still seem to doubt my sincerity!
Do you want me to swear some dreadful oaths?
May Heaven... - My goodness, don't swear; I believe you.
- Then give me one little kiss as a pledge of your word.
- Oh, Monsieur! Wait till I'm married and all, please;
after that I'll kiss you all you want.
- Very well, fair Charlotte, I want whatever you do;
but just allow me your hand, and let me express to it by a thousand kisses,
the ecstasy I feel . . .
- Just a minute Monsieur, steady on, will you.
You'd better not get so worked up, you'll have a stroke or something.
- What's this buffoon think he's doing?
- Now, look here, just stop that, keep your hands off my fiancee.
- Do you have to make such a noise?
- Ey, stop pushing me around.
- Let him be, Pierrot.
- What d'you mean, let him be? Why should I?
Just because you've got money,
you think you can go touching up our women in front of us.
Go and touch up your own. - What?
- Oy, don't hit me.
Ow , Christ. Bluddyell. It's not very nice,- hitting people,
specially when they've just saved you from drowning.
- don't get angry, Pierrot.
- I want to get angry. How dare you let him carry on with you like that?
- It's not what you think, Pierrot.
This gentleman wants to marry me, there's no point in getting all upset about it.
- What do you mean? You're engaged to me.
- That doesn't make any difference, Pierrot, if you love me,
If you love me, you ought to be pleased I'm going up in the world.
- Pleased? I'd rather see you dead than married to someone else.
- Come on, Pierrot, don't be like that, Look, I'll see you right when I'm married,
you can deliver butter and cheese to us, we'll be your best customers.
- I wouldn't deliver you the time of day, if you paid me double for it.
So you've given in to him, have you?
Jesus, if I'd known this was going to happen, I'd have thought twice about fishing him out of the water.
In fact I'd have very likely fetched his head a wallop with my oar.
- What's that you say?
- You don't scare me
- Then come here. - I will in a minute
- Come on then.
- I seen folk like you by the dozens. - Well!
- Oh, leave him alone, Monsieur, poor wretch. It's not fair to hit him.
Listen to me, my poor chap, go on away and don't say anything to him.
- I will say something to him, I will.
- Ah! I'll teach you.
- You miserable idiot!
- The wages of virtue.
- I'm going to tell your aunt about this.
- At last I'm going to be the happiest of men,
and I wouldn't trade my happiness for anything.
What pleasures there will be when you're my wife!
And how...
- Oh oh!
- Now now, Monsieur, what are you doing with Charlotte. Not talking about love to her as well, I hope.
- No, no, quite the contrary. She seems to want me to marry her,
I was just explaining to her that I'm engaged to you.
- Why, what in the world does Mathurine want with you?
- She wanted me to marry her, seeing me talking to you has made her jealous; I told her it was you I wanted.
- What? Charlotte... - Anything you tell her will be useless;
she's got this into her head.
- Look here, Mathurine... - There's no point in talking to her,
she's got such an imagination.
It's impossible to make her see reason.
- I'd like to... - She's as obstinate as the devil.
- Really... - don't talk to her, she 's mad.
- I think... - Ignore her, she's delirious.
- No, no, I must talk to her. - We've got to sort this out.
- I bet you she says I've promised to marry her.
What's the betting
she'll claim I proposed to her?
- Listen, Charlotte, you shouldn't poke your nose into other people's affairs, it's not right.
- You got no right to be jealous if the gentleman wants to talk to me.
- He saw me first. - He may have seen you first,
but he saw me second and he promised to marry me.
- What did I tell you? - I beg your pardon,
it's not you he promised to marry, it's me. - I guessed as much.
- You're talking through your hat: it's me. - I suppose you think that's funny:
it's me. - There he is,
ask him if I'm wrong. - See if he
contradicts me. - Did you promise to marry her, Monsieur?
- You're making fun of me. - Is it true
you proposed to her, Monsieur? - How can you think it?
- See, she won't be told. - Never mind her.
- She still keeps on about it. - Let her.
- No, we've got to know the truth. - It's got to be settled.
- Yes, Mathurine, I want you to get what's coming to you.
- Yes, Charlotte, it's time you were taken down a peg.
- Please sort this out, Monsieur. - Let's get it over, Monsieur.
- You'll see. - So will you.
- Come on. - Tell us.
- What can I say? Both of you maintain
I've promised to marry you.
You know what the situation is,
need I say more?
Why force me to repeat myself?
One of you is in a superior position,
one of you knows I've given my word,
so as long as I keep to it, why should you worry?
In any case, there's no point in endlessly discussing it,
actions speak louder than words,
There you are, I hope that settles it,
and when I do get married, we'll see which of you was right,
Let her think what she likes,
It's all in her imagination, I adore you. I'm yours.
Your beauty puts them all to shame,
You are perfection.
Now. there's something I have to see to. I'll be back in about a quarter of an hour.
(Concerto for clarinet: upbeat music)
- I'm the one he loves.
- It's me he will marry.
- You poor girls. I'm sorry for you,
I can't bear to see you heading for disaster.
Look, let me give you a piece of advice:
don't believe all the stories you are told,
go home now, and stay there.
- Sganarelle?
- He's got no morals; all he wants to do is to take advantage of you,
that's all he ever wants; he'll marry anything in skirts,
that's ... all lies, of course, don't believe anyone who tells you that.
He wouldn't marry anything in skirts,
he's got more morals than he knows what to do with,
and he's never taken advantage of anybody.
Oh, fancy, there he is, why don't you ask - Yes.
- The world is full of liars, Monsieur.
I thought I'd get in first
and warn them not to believe
anything bad they might hear about you.
- Sganarellel
- Oh, yes, I guarantee he's a man of honour.
- Monsieur, I've come to warn you. You mustn't stay here.
- What? - There are twelve mounted men looking for you,
and should be here any moment I don't know how they were able to follow you;
but I learned the news from a peasant whom they questioned,
and they gave him your description. The matter is urgent
and the sooner you get out of here the better.
("Requiem Donna eis aeternam" Give us eternal rest!)
(Soft and solemn music)
- Urgent business obliges me to leave;
but I beg you to remember the promise I gave you,
and to believe that you will hear from me before tomorrow evening.
- Since I'm outnumbered, I must resort to a stratagem,
and adroitly elude the misfortune that pursues me.
I want Sganarelle to put on my clothes, and I his
- Monsieur, you're joking. Expose me to being killed in your clothes, and...
- Come on, quick, I'm doing you too much honour, and happy is the valet
who can have the glory of dying for his master.
- Thanks a lot for such an honour!
O Heaven, since it's a matter of life and death,
grant me not to foe taken for someone else!
- My word, Monsieur, you must admit that I was right
and that here are the two of us wonderfully disguised.
Your first plan wasn't the thing at all,
and this hides us much better than what you wanted to do.
- It's true that you're well rigged out
...and I don't know where you dug up that ridiculous outfit.
- Am I? It's the costume of some old doctor,
that was left in pawn at the place where I got it,
and it cost me - money to have it.
But do you know, Monsieur,
already this gown gives me consideration,
I'm greeted by the people I meet,
and some are coming to consult me just as they would as an able man?
- How's that? - Five or six country people,
came to ask me my opinion about various maladies.
- And you answered that you didn't know a thing about it?
- I? Not at all. I wanted to maintain the honour of my gown.
I theorised about the illness, and I gave them each a prescription.
- And what remedies did you prescribe for them, then?
- My word, Monsieur, I took them where I could find them;
I gave my prescriptions at random;
and it would be a funny thing if the patients got well
and came to thank me for it - And why not?
Just why shouldn't you have the same privileges
as all the other doctors? They have nothing more to do
with curing their patients than you, and their whole art is pure pretence.
All they do is take the credit for the fortunate results,
and you can profit as they do from the patient's good luck,
and see attributed to your remedies all that may come from
the favours of chance and the forces of nature.
- What Monsieur, you're impious in medicine too?
- It's one of the great errors of mankind.
- What? You don't believe in senna,
or cassia, or emetic wine?
- And why would you have me believe in them? - You have the soul of a real unbeliever.
However, you have seen that for some time emetic wine has been making quite a stir.
Its miracles have converted the most incredulous minds,
and not three weeks ago I saw, me, just as I'm speaking to you, a marvellous effect from it
- And what was that?
- There was a man who had been in agony for six days;
they didn't know what to prescribe for him any more, and all the remedies weren't doing anything;
finally they thought of giving him emetic wine
- He got well, did he?
- No, he died.
- That was an admirable result.
- What? For six whole days he hadn't been able to die,
and that made him die right away. Could you ask for anything more efficient than that?
- You're right.
- But let's leave medicine which you don't believe in,
and talk about other things; for this costume gives me wit
and I feel in the mood to argue with you.
You allow me-to argue with you, you know, and all you forbid me is remonstrances.
- Well then?
- I'd just like to get to the bottom of what you think.
Is it possible that you don't believe in Heaven at all?
- Let that question alone.
- In other words, no.
And in Hell?
- Eh !
- Same thing.
And in the Devil, may I ask? - Yes, yes.
- Just as little.
don't you believe in the afterlife at all?
- Oh! oh! oh!
- Here's a man I'm going to have a lot of trouble converting.
Tell me now:
the Bogeyman, what do you believe about him, eh?
- A plague on the fool!
- And that's what I can't stand; for there is nothing truer
than the Bogeyman, and I'd let myself be hanged for him.
But still, you have to believe something in this world:
now what do you believe? - What do I believe?
- Yes.
- I believe that two and two makes four, Sganarelle
and that four and four makes eight.
- That's a fine belief.
So your religion, as far as I can see, is arithmetic?
You have to admit men do get strange follies into their heads,
and most of the time people are less wise the more they've studied.
For my part, Monsieur, I haven't studied like you, thank God,
and no one can boast of ever having taught me anything;
but with my own wee common sense, my own wee judgment
I see things better than all the books,
and I understand very well that this world that we see
is not some sort of mushroom that came here of itself in one night
I'd like to ask you who made these trees,
these rocks, this earth, and that sky you see up there,
and whether all that built itself.
Now here are you, for example you are here:
did you make yourself, all alone,
and didn't your father have to get your mother pregnant in order to make you?
Can you see all the contrivances
that the machine called Man is composed of
without wondering at the way one part is fitted into another:
these sinews, these bones, these veins, these arteries,
and all these other ingredients that are there and that...
Oh, good Lord, please interrupt me if you wish; I can't argue
unless I'm interrupted. You're keeping quiet on purpose and letting me talk on out of sheer malice.
- I'm waiting for your argument to be finished.
- My argument is that there is something admirable in man,
no matter what you say, that all the scholars could ever explain.
Isn't it wonderful that here I am,
and that I have something in my head that thinks a hundred different things in one moment
and does whatever it likes with my body?
I want to clap my hands, lift my arm, raise my eyes to Heaven,
bow my head, move my feet, go to the right, to the left
forward, backward, turn...
- Fine! Now your argument has a broken nose
- Good Lord! I'm pretty stupid to waste my time arguing with you.
Believe what you like: a lot I care whether you're-damned!
- But while we've been arguing, I think we've lost our way.
Go call that man I see over
there
...and ask him for directions.
- Hello!
Hello there, man!
Hey, brother!
Hey, friend!
A word with you, please.
Tell us which is the way to town, will you?
- You have only to follow this road, gentlemen,
and turn off to the right when you come to the end of the forest.
But I warn you that you must be on your guard,
and that for some time now there have been robbers hereabouts.
- I'm much obliged to you, my friend, and I thank you with all my heart.
- If you would be good enough, Monsieur, to help me out with a bit of alms?
- Aha! Your warning is self-serving, I see
- I'm a poor man, Monsieur,
retired all alone in this wood for ten years,
and I shall not fail to pray to Heaven to give you all sorts of good things.
- Well! Pray it to give you a suit of clothes,
and don't worry about other people's affairs.
- You don't know Monsieur, my good man;
he doesn't believe in anything except two and two makes four: and four and four makes eight.
- What is your occupation here among the trees?
- Praying to Heaven all day long
for the prosperity of the worthy people who give me something.
- Then it couldn't be that you're not very well off?
- Alas, Monsieur! I am in the greatest possible need.
- You must be joking. A man who prays to Heaven all day long
cannot fail to be in comfortable circumstances.
- I assure you, Monsieur, that most of the time
I haven't even a piece of bread to get my teeth into
- That is strange, and you are ill rewarded for your pains.
Aha! I'll give you a louis d'or right now
right now
...as long as you're willing to swear.
- Oh, Monsieur! Would you want me to commit such a sin?
- All you need to do is see whether you want to earn a louis d'or or not.
Here's one I'll give you
...if you'll swear.
Here, you must swear.
- Oh, Monsieur...
- Unless you do, you won't get it.
- Come on, come on, swear a bit there's no harm in it
- Here it is, take it;
take it I tell you; ...
but go on and swear.
- No, Monsieur, I'd rather die of hunger.
- Come, come,
I'll give it to you
...for love of humanity.
- From the flight of these robbers,
we see the full power of your arm to help.
Allow me Monsieur, to offer my thanks for such a generous action,...
- I have done nothing, Monsieur, that you wouldn't have done in my place.
Our own honour is involved in such adventures,
and the action of those scoundrels was so cowardly that not to oppose
it would have amounted to taking part in it.
But how did you happen to fall into their hands?
- I had been separated by accident from my brother and all our retinue;
and as I was trying to get back to them, I met up with these robbers,
who first killed my horse and but for your valour,
would have done as much to me. - Are you planning to travel
in the direction of town? - Yes, but I don't want to go inside the town.
We find ourselves obliged, my brother and I
to keep to the fields, on account of one of these unpleasant affairs that oblige gentlemen
to sacrifice themselves, and their families,
to the rigorousness of their honour, since after all the happiest result of it all is still disastrous,
and since, if we don't quit life itself,
we are constrained to quit the kingdom.
And it's in this respect that I consider a gentleman's condition unhappy,
that he cannot be secure in all the prudence and all the decency of his
own conduct that he is subjected by the laws of honour
to the lawlessness of other people's conduct and that his life,
his repose and his property depend on the fancy of the first rash fool
who decides to offer him one of those affronts
for which a man of quality must be ready to die.
- We have this satisfaction, that we make them run the same risk
and also spend their time badly, those who take it into their head to come
and offer us an offence just for the fun of it.
But would it be an indiscretion to ask you
what this affair of yours may be? - The state of the matter is such
that there's no point in making a secret of it any longer; and once the insult has been made public,
our honour does not aim to try to hide our shame,
but to make public our vengeance
and even our plan for it.
Thus, Monsieur, I shall not hesitate to tell you
that the offence we are seeking to avenge is the seduction of a sister
who was carried off from a convent and that the author of this offence
is one Dom Juan Tenorio, son of Dom Louis Tenorio.
We have been looking for him for some days, and we followed him this morning
on the report of a valet who told us that he was riding out on horseback in company
with four or five men, and that he had set out along this coast;
but all our pains have been useless, and we haven't been able to find out
what has become of him. - Do you know him, Monsieur, this Dom Juan that you are speaking of?
- For my part, no. I have never seen him, and I have only heard him described by my brother;
but his reputation is hardly of the best
and he's a man whose life... - Stop, Monsieur, if you please.
He's something of a friend of mine, and it would be a kind of cowardice
on my part to hear him ill spoken of. - For your sake, Monsieur
I'll say nothing about him.
and certainly that's the least thing I owe you, after you have saved my life,
to be silent in your presence about a person whom you know,
when I cannot talk about him without speaking ill of him.
But however much you may be a friend of his,
I dare to hope that you will not approve of his action
and will not find it strange that we are trying
to take vengeance for it - On the contrary, I want to help you in this,
and spare you useless pains.
I am a friend of Dom Juan, I can't help that;
but it is not reasonable that he should offend gentlemen with impunity,
and I promise to have him give you satisfaction.
- And what satisfaction can be given for this sort of offence?
- All that your honour can desire;
and, without your giving yourself the trouble to seek Dom Juan any further,
I'll bind myself to have him meet you where you want
and when you like.
- That hope, Monsieur, is very sweet to offended hearts;
but after what I owe you, it would be too great a pain to me for
you to be a participant.
- I am so attached to Dom Juan that he could not fight
without my fighting too;
but anyway, I'll answer for him as for myself,
and you have only to say when you want him to appear
and give you satisfaction. - How cruel is my destiny!
Must I owe you my life,
and must Dom Juan be a friend of yours?
- Have my horses watered there, and bring them after us; I want to walk at bit.
Heavens! What do I see here! What! Brother,
here you are with our mortal enemy? - Our mortal enemy?
- Yes, I myself am Dom Juan,
and your advantage in numbers will not make me try to disguise my name.
- Ah, traitor! You shall perish, and... - Ah, brother, stop!
I owe him my life; and without the help of his arm,
I would have been killed by some robbers I met with.
- And do you mean to let this consideration hinder our vengeance?
All the services an enemy's hand may do for us do not deserve
to bind our soul at all;
and if we must measure the obligation against the offence,
your gratitude in this Case, brother, is ridiculous;
and since honour is infinitely more precious than life
to owe our life to someone who has stolen our honour is really to owe nothing at all.
our honour is really to owe nothing at alL - I know the difference, my brother,
a gentleman must always make between the two things, and recognition of my obligation
does not wipe out my resentment at the offence.
But allow me to return to him here what he has lent me
to pay back on the spot by putting off our vengeance,
and to leave him the freedom to enjoy, for a few days, the fruits of his good deed.
- No, no, it is risking our vengeance to delay it
and the chance to get it may never come again.
Heaven offers it to us here and now,
When honour is mortally wounded,
we must not think of any restraints;
and if you find it repugnant to lend your arm to this action,
you have only to withdraw
and leave me the glory of such a sacrifice - I beg you, brother...
- All this talk is superfluous:
he must die. - Stop, brother, I tell you.
I will absolutely not allow an attack on this day,
and I swear to Heaven that I will defend him here against anyone whatever,
and I'll make a rampart for him of this same life that he saved;
and to aim your blows at him, you'll have to pierce me.
- What?
You're taking our enemy's side against me;
and far from being seized, at the sight of him, with the same transports as I,
you show for him
feelings of mildness? - Brother, let's show moderation
in a legitimate action, and let's not avenge our honour
with the frenzy that you display.
Let's have a courage that we are masters of,
a valor that has nothing savage about it
and that moves to act by a pure deliberation of our reason
and not on an impulse of blind fury.
Brother, I do not want to remain indebted to my enemy,
and I have an obligation to him that I must acquit before anything else.
Our vengeance will be none the less signal for being deferred;
On the contrary,
it willl gain by it; and this chance we had of taking it
it will make it appear the more just in everyone's eyes.
- Oh! What a strange weakness, and dreadful blindness,
to risk the interests of our honour
thus for the ridiculous notion of an imaginary obligation!
- No, brother, don't worry.
If I am making a mistake, I shall be able to make amends for it
and I'll take the care of our honour all upon myself.
I know what it requires of us,
and this one-day postponement
which my gratitude asks of it, will only increase
my ardor to satisfy it. Dom Juan!
you see that I am at pains to return the good I have received from you,
and from that you must judge the rest
and believe that I repay whatever I owe with the same warmth,
and that I shall be no less exact in paying you for the affront than for the benefit.
I do not want to oblige you here and now to explain your feelings,
and I give you your freedom to consider at leisure
what you must resolve.
You know well enough how great an offence you have done us,
and I leave you to judge for yourself what reparations it demands.
There are gentle ways to satisfy us;
there are violent and bloody ones;
but anyway, whichever you choose
you have given me your word to have Dom Juan
Give me satisfaction. Keep that in mind, I beg you,
and remember that from this point on I have no further obligation except to my honour.
- I have required nothing of you,
and I shall keep the promise I have given.
- Come, brother; a moment's mildness gives no offence
to the rigorousness of our duty.
- Hey! Hello!
Sganarelle!
- Monsieur?
- What you rogue, you run away when I'm attacked?
- Pardon me Monsieur; I've just come from right near by.
I think this costume is purgative
and that wearing it amounts to taking medicine
- A plague on your insolence!
At least cover your cravenness with a more decent veil.
Do you know who it was whose life I saved?
- Me? No.
- It was a brother of Elvire's. - A. ..
- He's a rather decent chap, he behaved well,
and I'm Sorry to have a quarrel with him.
- It would be easy for you to make everything peaceful.
- Yes; but my passion for Donna Elvire is spent
and it doesn't suit my mood to be tied down.
I like freedom
in love, you know,
and I could never bring myself to enclose my heart within four walls.
I've told you twenty times,
I have a natural inclination to let myself go toward whatever attracts me.
My heart belongs to all beautiful women,
and it's up to them to take it in turn and keep it as long
as they can.
But what is the splendid building that I see among these trees?
- You do not know?
- No, really.
- Why, that's the tomb that the Commander was having built when you killed him.
- Ah! You're right I didn't know it was out this way.
Everyone has told me wonderful things about it
and about the statue of the Commander as well,
and I'd like to go and see it.
- Monsieur, don't go there - Why not?
- It's not civil to go and call on a man you've killed.
- On the contrary, I mean this visit as a civility to him,
and he should receive it with good grace if he is a gentleman.
Come on, let's go in.
(Ode funeral maonnique: meditative music)
- Oh! How beautiful it is!
Beautiful statues!
Beautiful pillars!
Beautiful marble!
Oh ...
How beautiful it is!
What do you think of it Monsieur?
- That a dead man's ambition could hardly go further;
and what I consider remarkable is that a man who
during his life got along with a rather simple abode
should want to have such a magnificent one
for the time when he has no further use for it
- Here's the statue of the Commander.
- My heavens! He's really decked out with his Roman emperor costume!
- My word, Monsieur, that's a fine piece of work!
It seems as if he's alive and just about to speak.
He looks at us in a way that would frighten me if I were all alone
and I think he is not pleased to see us.
- He would be wrong,
and that would be a poor way to receive the honour I am paying him.
Ask him if he will come to supper with me.
- That's something he doesn't need, I think.
- Ask him, I tell you.
- Are you joking? It would be crazy to go talking to a statue.
- Do what I tell you.
- How absurd!
My lord Commander...
I'm laughing at my stupidity, but it's my master who makes me do this.
My lord Commander, my master Dom Juan asks you
if you will do him the honour to come to supper with him.
Ah! - What? What is it?
Say, do you mean? - The Statue ...
- Well! What are you trying to say, traitor?
- I tell you the Statue ...
- Well, the Statue? I'll knock you down if you do not speak!
- The statue signaled to me. - A plague on the rascal!
- It signalled to me I tell you:
Go on- and talk to him yourself and see. Maybe ...
- Come on, you rogue, come on,
I want to rub your nose in your own cowardice.
Now watch.
Would the lord Commander like to come to supper with me?
- I wouldn't have missed that for ten pistoles.
Well, Monsieur?
- Come on, get out of here!
- There are your freethinkers for you, who won't believe anything!
- Anyway, let's drop the subject; it's a trifle,
and we may have been fooled by a bad light
or affected by some sort of dizziness that troubled our sight
- Oh, Monsieur! don't try to deny what we saw with these very eyes.
Nothing could be more absolutely true than that nod of the head;
and I have no doubt that Heaven, scandalised by your life,
has produced this miracle to convince.
and draw you back from ...
- Listen ...
If you pester me any more with your stupid moralising,
if you say the least little word more to me about it
I'm going to call someone to fetch a bull's pizzle,
have you held by three or four men, and give you a thousand lashes.
Do you understand me?
- Very well, Monsieur,
perfectly.
You explain yourself clearly.
That's what's good about you: you don't go beating about the bush;
you say things with wonderful precision.
- Come, have my supper served as soon as possible
Boy! A chair! - Monsieur ...
here's your furnisher, Monsieur Dimanche, asking to speak to you.
- Fine! That's just what we need, a greeting from a creditor!
What does he think he's doing coming and asking us for money?
And why didn't you tell him that Monsieur is out?
- I've been telling him that for three quarters of an hour; but he won't believe it
and he sat down inside to wait - No, on the contrary, show him in.
It's very bad policy to go into hiding from your creditors
It's good to give them some satisfaction,
and I have the secret for sending them away happy without paying them a penny.
Ah!
Monsieur Dimanche, come!
Come!
How delighted I am to see you, and how angry I am with my servants
for not showing you in right away!
I had given orders to admit no visitors;
but those orders are not for you,
and you have a right never to find my door closed to you.
- Monsieur, I am much obliged. - Good heavens, you rascals!
I'll teach you to leave Monsieur Dimanche in an antechamber,
and I'll see that you learn who's who. - Monsieur, this is nothing.
- How? You say that I'm not there,
Monsieur Dimanche to my best friend?
- Monsieur, I am your servant. I came ...
- Come quickly, a seat for Monsieur Dimanche!
- Monsieur, I am like that.
- Point point I want you sit against me.
- This is not necessary.
- Remove the folding and bring a chair!
- Monsieur, you laugh, and ... - No, I know what I owe you,
and that I will not put difference between us.
- Monsieur ... - Come, sit down
- Monsieur, it is not necessary to sit, I have only one word to say to you
- Sit down, I say - No, Monsieur, I am quite comfortable...
- No! I will not listen to you if you do not sit down!
- Monsieur, I will do as you wish.
I ... - Upon my word, you look well.
- Yes, Monsieur, at your service.
- You look the picture of health: fresh lips,
a ruddy complexion, sparkling eyes. - I should be glad ...
- How is Madame Dimanche your wife?
- Very well, Monsieur, thank you God. - She is a fine woman.
- She is your servant, Monsieur ... - And your little daughter Claudine,
how is she? - Very well indeed
- What a pretty girl she is! I love her with all my heart.
- You do her too much honour. I ... - And does little Colin,
still make as much noise with his drum?
- Just as much, Monsieur. I ... - And does your little dog Rusquet,
bark as loud as ever, and bite the legs
of people who come to see you? - Just as much, Monsieur,
we cannot break him of the habit.
- Do not be surprised if I I ask news of your whole family
for I take a deep interest in it.
- We are greatly obliged to your, Monsieur. I ...
- Shakes hands then Monsieur Dimanche. Are you a really good friend of mine?
- Oh, Monsieur, I am your servant.
- I am your with all my heart. - You do me too much honour. I ...
- There is nothing I would not do for you.
- You are too good to me ... - And it is without any motive,
I would beg you to believe. - I did not merit this.
But, Monsieur ...
- Monsieur Dimanche bill you sup with me in a simple way?
- No, Monsieur, I must return home immediately
- Come, quick. A torch to light Monsieur Dimanche
and let four or five of my fellows take their muskets to escort him.
- No, it is not necessary I can go by myself. But ...
- How? They shall escort you
I am too much concerned for your person.
I am your servant, and what it more, your debtor.
- Ah! Monsieur ... - It is a thing I do not hide,
and I tell it to everybody. Do you wish me to see you home
- Oh, Monsieur, you jest!
- Embrace me then, I pray you
Once again, I beg you to believe that I am entirely at your disposal,
and that there is nothing in the world that I wouldn't do to serve you
- You must admit that in Monsieur you have a man who is very fond of you.
- That's true; he pays me so many civilities
and so many compliments that I never could possibly ask him for money.
- I assure you that his entire household would die for you;
and I wish something would happen to you,
someone would take a notion to give you a drubbing;
you'd see just how ... - I believe it; but Sganarelle
I beg you to put in a word to him about my money.
- Oh! don't worry, he'll pay you to your heart's content
- But you, Sganarelle ...
you owe me something on your own account
- Fie! don't speak of it - What? I...
- don't I know very well that I owe you money?
- Yes, but ... - Come, I'll enlighten you.
- But my money ... - Are you joking?
- I want ... I hear ... - Nonsense!
Fie Fie, I tell you!
- Monsieur, here is your father.
- Ah!
This visit is just what I needed to drive me insane.
- I see I embarrass you
you would very gladly dispense with my presence.
The truth
is it's remarkable how we rub each other the wrong way;
and if you're tired of seeing me,
I too am very tired of your behavior.
Alas! How little we know what we're doing
when we do not leave to Heaven the responsibility for the things we need,
when we try to be wiser than it is,
and when we come to pester it with our blind wishes
and our thoughtless requests!
I wished for a son with unequaled ardor,
I prayed for one unremittingly with incredible fervour;
and this son whom I obtain by wearying Heaven with my entreaties,
is the grief and the torment of this very life
of which I thought he was to be the joy and consolation.
How do you suppose
I can regard that mass of unworthy actions,
whose evil appearance can hardly be toned down in the eyes of the world,
that unending series of wicked affairs,
which constantly reduce us to wearying
the King's indulgence, and which have exhausted
in his eyes the merit of my services and the credit of my friends?
Ah! To what baseness you have sunk!
don't you blush to be so little worthy of your birth?
Tell me, have you a right to take any pride in it?
And what have you done in the world to be a gentleman?
Do you think it is enough to bear the name and the arms of one
and that it is a reason for glory for us to have sprung from a noble family
when we live like scoundrels?
No!
No, no, birth is nothing where there is no virtue.
Moreover, we have a share in our ancestors' glory
only insofar as we strive to resemble them;
and the luster which their actions cast over us places on us
an obligation to do them the same honour,
to follow in their footsteps,
and not to degenerate from their virtues,
if we want to be considered their true descendants.
Thus it is in vain that you descend from the ancestors
whose blood runs in your veins
and all the illustrious things they have done give you no advantage whatever;
on the contrary, their lustre reflects on you only to your dishonour,
and their glory is a torch that lights up the shame of your actions
for everyone's eyes.
In short, know that a gentleman who lives badly
is a monstrosity in nature,
that virtue is the first title of nobility,
that I am much less concerned with the name a man signs than with the deeds he does,
and that I would set more store by the son of a porter
who was a decent man
than by a king's son who lived
as you do.
- Monsieur, if you sat down, you would be more comfortable for talking.
- No ...
insolent wretch,
I will not sit down, or talk any longer,
and I see very well that all my words make no impression on your soul.
But know, unworthy son,
that a father's tenderness is exasperated by your actions,
that I shall contrive sooner than you think
to set a limit to your transgressions,
forestall Heaven's wrath upon you, and wash away, by your punishment
the shame of having given you life.
- Oh! Die as soon as you can,
that's the best thing you can do.
Each man must have his turn, and it makes me furious to see fathers
who live as long as their sons. - Ah, Monsieur,
you are wrong!
- I am wrong?
- Monsieur ...
- I am wrong?
- Yes, Monsieur, you're wrong to have endured what he said to you,
and you should have taken him by the shoulders and put him out.
Could anything be more impertinent?
For a father to come and make remonstrances to his son,
and tell him to mend his ways, remember his birth,
lead the life of a decent man, and a hundred other foolish things
of the same sort! Can this be endured by a man like you,
who know how life should be lived? I marvel at your patience;
and if I had been in your place I would have sent him packing.
O cursed complaisance! How low will you bring me?
- Will my supper be on soon?
- Monsieur!
here is a veiled lady come to speak to you.
- Who could it be? - We must see
- don't be surprised, Dom Juan, to see me at this hour
and in this costume. It is an urgent motive
that forces me to this visit and what I have to say to you
will brook no delay.
I have not come here full of the wrath
that burst from me a while ago,
and you see me very changed from what I was this morning.
I am no longer that Donna Elvire who was praying against you
and whose irritated soul uttered nothing but threats
and breathed nothing but vengeance
Heaven
has banished from my soul all that unworthy ardor
I felt for you,
all those tumultuous transports of a criminal attachment,
all those shameful outbursts
of a gross
earthly love;
and it has left in my heart for you
only a flame purified of all sensual matters,
a wholly sacred tenderness, a love detached from everything,
which does not act at all for itself;
and is worried only on your behalf.
- I do believe you're crying.
- Forgive me.
- It is this pure and perfect love that brings me here for your good,
to convey to you a warning from Heaven,
and try to bring you back from the precipice toward which you are rushing.
Yes, Dom Juan, I know all the transgressions of your life,
and that same Heaven, which has touched my heart
and turned my gaze upon the lapses of my own conduct
inspired me to come and find you, and tell you in its name
that your offences have exhausted its mercy,
that its dread anger is ready to fall upon you,
that it lies within you to avoid it by a prompt repentance and that you may perhaps
not have a chance for one more day to escape the
greatest of all misfortunes.
As for me,
I am no longer attached to you by any worldly bond;
I have recovered, thanks to Heaven, from all my insane thoughts;
my retirement from the world is settled,
and all I ask is life enough to be able
to expiate my fault and to earn,
by austere penance, my pardon for the blindness
into which I was plunged by the transports of a guilty passion.
But in that retirement
it would be an extreme grief to me
for a person whom
I have tenderly cherished
to become a dire example of Heaven's justice;
and it will be an incredible joy to me
if I can bring you to ward off from above your head
the frightful blow that threatens you.
I beseech you, Dom Juan,
as a final favour, grant me this sweet consolation;
do not deny me your own salvation, which I ask of you in tears;
and if you are not touched by your own interest
at least be touched by my prayers,
and spare me the cruel misery of seeing you
condemned to eternal torments.
- Poor woman!
- I loved you
extreme with tenderness.
nothing in the world has been so dear to me as you
I have forgotten my duty for you, I have done everything for you;
and all the return I ask of you
is to reform your life and to forestall your destruction.
Save yourself, I pray you, either for love of yourself
or for the love of me.
Once again, Dom Juan, I ask you this in tears;
and if the tears of a person you have loved are not enough,
I beseech you by whatever is most capable of touching you.
- Oh, tiger heart!
- After these words I'm leaving, and that's all I had to tell you.
- Madame it's late, stay here: we'll put you up as well as we can.
- No, Dom Juan, don't detain me any further. - You will oblige me to remain.
- No, I tell you, let's not waste time in pointless talk
Let me go quickly, don't insist on seeing me out
and simply think about profiting by my warning.
- Do you know that I still had a little feeling for her,
that I found a certain charm in this bizarre new style,
and that her careless dress, her languishing manner, and her tears,
reawakened in me some little embers of a dead fire?
- That is to say, her words had no effect on you.
- Quick, my supper.
- Very well.
- Just the same Sganarelle, we must think about reforming.
- Oh, yes!
- Yes, my word, we must reform; another twenty or thirty years of this life
and then we'll think of our souls. - Oh!
- What do you say to that? - Nothing. Here's the supper.
- It seems to me your cheek is swollen; what's the matter?
Speak up, what's wrong with you? - Nothing.
- Let's just see.
Gad! It's an inflammation on his cheek.
Quick, a lancet to open it!
The poor boy can't go on, and this abscess might choke him.
Wait: see how ripe it was.
Oh! what a rogue you are! - Well, Monsieur, I wanted to see
if your chef hadn't put on too much salt or pepper.
- Come sit down here and eat
I have some business for you when you have supped
Are you hungry I see. - I have not eaten since this morning.
Try this, it couldn't be better.
My plate my plate!
Easy there please!
Good Lord, little friend, what a gift you have for giving us clean plates!
And you, little La Violette, what timing you have for serving wine!
(Someone knocks insistently)
- Who can be knocking like that?
- Who the devil is coming to disturb our meal?
- I want at least to eat supper in peace, and not have anyone let in.
- Let me handle it I'll go and see myself.
(Each step of the Statue resonates)
(Smash dishes falls to the ground)
- What is it?
What's the matter?
- The ...
is there!
- Let's go see, and show that nothing can shake me.
A chair and a cover ...
quick now!
Come sit down at the table.
- I am no longer hungry, Monsieur. - Sit down there, I tell you.
Bring us drinks.
To the health of the Commander!
I drink it with you, Sganarelle. Give him some wine.
- Monsieur, I am not thirsty.
- Drink up, and sing your song, to entertain the Commander.
- I have a cold, Monsieur.
- No matter. Come on.
the rest of you, come here accompany his voice.
- Dom Juan, that's enough.
I invite you to come to supper with me tomorrow.
Will you have the courage?
- Yes ...
I'll come,
with only Sganarelle for company.
- Thanks just the same tomorrow is a fast day for me.
- Take this torch!
- We do not need light
when we are guided by Heaven.
(The bells chime)
- What, my son,
Could it be that Heaven's kindness has granted my prayers?
Is what you tell me really true?
Aren't you deluding me with a false hope,
and can I put some confidence
in the surprising novelty of such a conversion?
- Yes.
you see me returned from all my errors;
I am no longer the same as last night
and Heaven has suddenly produced in me a change
that is going to surprise everyone
It has touched my heart and opened my eyes,
and I view with horror the long blindness I have lived in,
and the criminal disorders of the life I have led.
I go over all my abominations in my mind,
and I am amazed that Heaven could tolerate them so long,
not brought down on my head twenty times the blows
of its dread justice.
I see the mercies that its kindness has done
me by not punishing me for my crimes;
and I mean to profit by this as I should,
reveal a sudden change of life to the eyes of the world,
make amends in that way for the scandal of my past actions,
and strive to obtain from Heaven
a full pardon for them.
That's what I'm going to work for;
and I beg you, Monsieur, to be willing to contribute to this plan,
and help me yourself to choose some person to serve me as a guide,
under whose direction I may walk securely
on the path I am about to enter.
- Ah, my son,
How easily a father's tenderness is recalled,
and how quickly a son's offences vanish
at the slightest word of repentance!
Already I nO longer remember all the griefs you have caused me
and everything is wiped out by the words you have just let me hear.
I am beside myself, I admit;
I am shedding tears of joy;
all my wishes are granted,
and henceforth I have nothing more to ask of Heaven.
Embrace me, my son,
and, I conjure you, persist in this praiseworthy plan.
For my part I am going right this moment and bring the happy news
to your mother, share with her the sweet transports of the ecstasy I feel,
and give thanks to Heaven
for the holy resolutions that it has deigned to inspire in you.
- Ah, Monsieur, what joy I have in seeing you converted!
I'd been waiting for that a long time,
and now, thank Heaven, all my wishes are fulfilled.
- A plague on the nitwit!
- How's that the nitwit?
- What? You're taking what I've just said at face value
and you think my lips were in agreement with my heart?
- What? It is not ... You do not ...
Your ... Oh, what a man! What a man!
- No, I am not changed,
and my sentiments are still the same.
- You don't surrender to the amazing marvel
of that moving and talking statue?
- There certainly is something in that which I don't understand;
but whatever it may be,
it is not capable of either convincing my mind
or shaking my soul;
and if I said I wanted to reform my conduct
and enter upon an exemplary way of life
that was a plan I formed out of pure politics,
a useful stratagem,
a necessary pose
that I want to hold myself to,
in order to keep on the good side of a father whom I need,
and to protect myself against
a hundred unpleasant adventures that might come my way from the direction of men in general.
I'm willing to confide this in you, Sganarelle,
and I'm very glad to have a witness of my inmost soul
and of the real motives that oblige me to do things.
- What? You don't believe in anything,
and want to set yourself up as a good man? - And why not?
There are so many others like me who ply that trade,
and use the same mask to take advantage of people!
- Oh! What a man! What a man!
- There's no shame in that any more nowadays: hypocrisy
is a fashionable vice, and all fashionable vices pass for virtues.
The role of a good man is the best of all the roles
a person can play today,
and there are wonderful advantages to the hypocrite's profession.
It's an art whose imposture is always respected;
and even when it's uncovered, no one dares to say anything against it.
All the other vices of men are exposed to censure,
and everyone is free to attack them boldly;
but hypocrisy is a privileged vice
whose hand closes everyone's mouth
and which peacefully enjoys a sovereign impunity.
By dint of dissimulations, one forms a close association
with all the other members of the party.
If anyone attacks one of them, he has them all on his hands;
and even those who we know act in good faith in these matters,
and who everyone knows are genuinely stirred,
those people I say, are always dupes of the others;
they fall completely for the game of the masqueraders
and blindly support these men who merely ape their own actions.
Imagine how many of them I know who, by this stratagem,
have adroitly reclothed the disorders of their youth,
have made themselves a shield of the cloak of religion,
and, under this respected garment
are free to be the wickedest men in the world?
It doesn't matter that some people, aware of their intrigues
this doesn't keep them from being held in esteem among men;
and a bowed head, a mortified sign,
and eyes rolling to Heaven, making up in society for
anything they may do.
It's under this favourable shelter that I mean to seek protection,
and place my affairs in security.
I shall not abandon my pleasant habits;
but I shall take care to conceal myself and shall divert myself in a quiet way.
And if it happens that I am discovered without my lifting a finger
I'll see the whole cabal espouse my interests
and defend me and against anyone.
In short this is the real way to do anything I want with impunity.
I shall set myself up as a censor of the actions of others,
judge everyone harshly,
and have a good opinion of no one but myself.
If once anyone has offended me the least little bit
I shall never forgive, and shall very quietly retain
an irreconcilable hatred.
I shall play the avenger of Heaven's interests,
and, on that convenient pretext harass my enemies,
accuse them of impiety,
and contrive to turn loose against them some undiscerning zealots
who, without knowing what it's all about will raise a public outcry against them,
load them with insults,
and damn them loudly by their own private authority.
That's the way to take advantage of men's weaknesses,
and for an intelligent mind to adapt itself to the vices of his day.
- O Heaven! What do I hear now? All you needed was to be a hypocrite
to make you really complete; and that's the worst of abominations.
Monsieur, this last one is too much for me, and I can't help speaking out
Do what you please to me, beat me, shower me with blows,
kill me, if you want: I must get this off my chest,
and as a faithful valet I must tell you what I ought.
Learn, Monsieur,
that if the pitcher goes to the well too often, it'll finally get broken;
and as that author says so well whom I don't know
man is in this world like a bird on a branch;
the branch is attached to the tree;
whoever attaches himself to the tree, follows good precepts;
good precepts are better than fine words;
fine words are found at court;
at court are the courtiers; courtiers follow the fashion;
fashion comes from fancy; fancy is a faculty of the soul
the soul is what gives us life;
life ends in death;
death makes us think of Heaven;
Heaven is above the earth;
the earth is not the sea;
the sea is subject to storms; storms toss ships;
Vessels need a good driver.
ships need a good pilot; a good pilot has prudence;
prudence is not in young people; young people owe obedience to the old;
the old love riches; riches make people rich;
the rich are not poor; the poor have necessities;
necessity know no laws; whoever knows no laws lives like a brute beast;
and consequently, you will be damned to all the devils in Hell.
- Oh, what fine reasoning!
- After that, if you don't give up, too bad for you.
(Requiem: Music imploring)
("Agnus Dei, Domine, Miserere nobis" Lamb of God, have mercy on us!)
- Dom Juan, you are well met
and I'm very glad to speak to you here rather than at your place,
to ask you what you have decided.
You know that this responsibility concerns me,
and that in your presence I have taken this matter upon myself.
For my part, I don't hide it,
I very much hope that things will go peacefully;
and there is nothing I would not do
to persuade you to adopt this course,
and to see you publicly acknowledge my sister as your wife
- Alas,
With all my heart I would like
to give you the satisfaction that you desire; but
Heaven is directly opposed to it;
it has inspired in my soul the plan to change my life
and I now have no other thoughts
than to abandon all worldly attachments entirely,
to strip myself as soon as possible of every kind of vanity,
and henceforth to correct by austere conduct, all the criminal transgressions
that I was led to by the fire of blind youth.
- This plan, Dom Juan, does not conflict with what I say;
and the company of a lawful wife is fully compatible
with the laudable ideas that Heaven inspires in you.
- Alas! Not at all. It's a plan that your sister herself has adopted:
he has resolved to retire from the world, and we were both touched at the same time.
- Her retirement cannot satisfy us,
since it may be imputed to a disdain of yours for her and our family;
and our honour demands that she live with you.
- I assure you that that cannot be
For my part I wanted that more than anything,
and even today I again asked for advice about this from Heaven;
but when I consulted it I heard a voice
that told me that I must not think of your sister,
and that with her I would certainly not gain salvation.
- Dom Juan, do you think to dazzle us by these fair excuses?
- I obey the voice of Heaven.
- What? You expect me to be satisfied with such talk?
- It is Heaven that so wills it
- You will have taken my sister out of a convent and then left her?
- That is the way Heaven ordains.
- We are to stand for this stain on our family?
- Blame Heaven for it
- What? Always Heaven?
- Heaven so desires it
- Enough, Dom Juan, I understand you.
I don't intend to deal with you here
this place does not permit it;
but before long I'll find you.
- You will do what you wish.
You know that I do not lack heart,
and can use my sword when necessary.
I'll go right out
to that little out-of-the-way street that leads to the big convent
But for my part I tell you that I'm not the one who wants to fight;
Heaven forbids me such a thought;
But if you attack me, we shall see what will happen.
- We shall see!
indeed, we shall see
- Monsieur, what devilish style are you adopting now? This is much worse than the rest
and I would like you much better even as you were before
I was still hoping for your Salvation; but now is the time when I despair of it;
and I believe that Heaven, which has endured you up to now,
will not possibly be able to endure this final horror.
- Go on, go on, Heaven is not as exacting as you think;
and if every time that men...
(Requiem "Dies lrae" Day of Wrath)
(Music menacing and jerky)
- Oh, Monsieur! This is Heaven speaking to you,
... and this is a warning it's giving you. - If Heaven is giving me a warning
it will have to speak a little more clearly if it wants me to hear it
(Voice of beyond à) - Dom Juan has but a moment
left to take advantage of Heaven's mercy,
and if he does not repent now,
his doom is sealed.
- Do you hear, Monsieur?
- Who dares to utter these words?
I think this Commodore's voice
- Oh, Monsieur! It's a spectre; I recognise it by its walk.
- spectre, phantom, or devil, I mean to see what it is.
(Neighing)
- O Heaven!
Monsieur, do you see how the shape has changed?
- No, no, nothing can terrify me
and I mean to test with my sword whether it's a body or a spirit
- Oh, Monsieur! Yield to all these proofs,
and, quick, take the plunge of repentance.
- No.
it shall not be said, come what may,
that I am capable of repenting.
Come, follow me!
- Stop, Dom Juan;
you gave me your word yesterday to come and eat with me.
- Yes.
Where do we go?
- Give me your hand ...
- Here it is.
- Dom Juan, obduracy in sin brings on a dreadful death,
and Heaven's mercy rejected opens the way to its lightning.
- O Heaven! What's this I feel?
An invisible fire is burning me,
I can bear no more
and my whole body is turning into a fiery furnace.
Aaaah!
(Requiem "Lacrymosa" Leaving our tears flow)
(Music lamentation)
- Ah, my wages!
My wages!
There everybody is satisfied by his death.
Heaven offended, violated laws,
seduced girls
dishonoured families, outraged parents,
wives led astray, exasperated husbands,
everyone is happy.
I'm the only one
who is unhappy.
My wages ...
My wages!